Thursday, February 26, 2009

Sick and Stuff

Ugh...I don't know why, but I haven't felt like writing any blog posts for a while. I feel like I want people to know what's going on in my life, but I don't feel like making the effort of typing out a few paragraphs every other day. There was an "Outer Limits" episode once where all the worlds' information was instantly accessible via brain implants, so people would just close their eyes to send/receive info. Although there are obvious pitfalls there (thus the point of the cautionary tale), part of me envies that.

Anywho...last Tuesday, Feb. 17, I started getting a cough. The ol' body rapidly went down hill, and I ended up staying home sick from work Wed - Fri. It totally sucked. I hate not doing something because of illness. I was the kid who would try to fake being WELL so I could go to school. (I think I missed all of 3-4 days during my 4 years of high school)

We've been pretty slammed at work, and I've kind of been the point person on some projects. My being away, unplanned, for 3 days rocked the boat fairly bad. Some balls got dropped, and I knew they would. I hate the feeling of letting people down. One time in college, I told a friend I would meet them for dinner in the caf at 6:00. I forgot, had dinner at 5:00, then saw them coming in on my way out. The hurt on their face still burns in my memory. That's just one example (and yes, I know, a fairly minor one - they got over it and we're still friends), but it gets my point across effectively.

Well, as of write now, I'm pausing mid-sentence during this post several times to cough up a lung. It was a bummer being sick during Fike & Dana's CD release concert. I had been looking forward to it for so long, it felt anti-climactic because I was so out of it.

Two other thing that sucks when I'm sick.
1. It physically affects my appearance so that people think I'm mad/sad/upset - which is rarely the case, being the generally happy, laid-back cool guy that I am.
2. Though part of me appreciates and desires concern for my well-being by others, at a certain point I get tired of "How ya doin'?" and "Sorry to hear you're still sick" comments. Why is that? How rude and unappreciative am I? I guess it's just a reminder at how hard I have to work at dying to self and allowing other people (with their own problems) into my life. That's probably why I have a secret wish for the life of a hermit-monk. Shut off from the world, no purpose or activity in life other than Bible-reading, prayer, and introspection. The simplicity and (in my mind) implied nobility of such a life appeals. But I know that is not why I am here. God is using me to interact with other people. It's through relationship with other people that my understanding of God is increased, and perhaps others get a glimpse of God through me.


Ok, I surrender. Nyquil, then bed.