Friday, August 28, 2009

Experiencing God

Title = Not related to the book or study....just a short phrase that captures what the Men's Retreat weekend was in a nutshell.

This might be a long post, so maybe print it out and read on the train...or by the pool...or in bed...or whatever. Thus far, I feel like I have been pretty much an open book as far as what is going on in my head and in my heart in relation to life, God, etc. and intend to be just as transparent and vulnerable about this very special weekend. So take it all with a grain of salt, this is my (limited) perspective and not authoritative Truth. ;)

Leading up to the weekend, the major themes playing in my life's background have been 1) Prayer - how to do it; why I don't do it as often as I know I should; faith in believing it matters, etc. 2) Calling - there might be a variety of connotations of this word, but it's the one that speaks to me the most often, and basically is related to the question: What should I be doing with my life? I've often thought of this in a vocational sense (What job am I getting paid for?), but have widened it to include all areas of my life: family, church/ministry, etc.

I knew to expect that God would do something on retreat. I tentatively hoped for "answers" or at least a little more illumination on my path. Oddly, however, as we were driving up, checking in and heading off to the campfire, I felt slightly disconnected. Like I didn't feel any anticipation of something good happening, or at least a mild ambivalence. I was a little concerned by that, so as worship began, I asked God to soften & open my heart, to start being able to engage and "get my hands dirty" in the Spirit.


I'm sorry to do this...but I'm going to have to break this up into segments...otherwise, I may never get this posted, as the entirety is a bit over-whelming. I've been up since 4:00am this morning. That's the second time this week. It was fairly productive again, in the sense that I was able to connect and build in a relationship with a friend who was up at the same time, and started working on the "Cleansing" sheet that I will describe later.

I will give the utmost effort to completing the Retreat experience rundown over the next day or so, probably in manageable, small-ish chunks like this.